Virtual Youth Ministry
COVID-19 protocols moved us quickly to our homes and ended large gatherings. As we do not yet know when we may be safe and open to gather, God has blessed us with time to keep connected with teens and their parents using technology! The following are just a few reminders and tips on doing this well. (Feel free to add more ideas in the comments below.) First, for all of these, make sure you have an updated and revised-as-needed "Permission for Direct Contact with Youth" so you can follow the parent's wishes. (You can find it in KEY FORMS on the Coordinators page of this site) TELEPHONE CALLS 1. Have a phone log of some sort - can be a spreadsheet on your computer or a paper-and-pen notebook. Have space to note: - date - time (start and end) - number called - with whom you spoke - notes abut the topics discussed 2. Consider writing a script before calling, even if it is just a basic check in, write down your questions and any announcements, resources or references you plan to share. Don't read the script like a robot, but it is good to have on hand to assist you should the teen or parent be quiet, and assured you will cover the same information with each call. 3. If it is safe and possible to make the calls from a parish phone, with other staffers or volunteers nearby, that is preferred. If not, make sure that your pastor/supervisor approves whatever phone line you will use and with what other adult will be nearby, and amend your "Permission for Direct Contact with Youth" Form as needed. 4. Say a prayer that the Holy Spirit will guide your words and grant the call-receiver peace. 5. Call. Listen. Be reassuring. Offer to pray for/with, if you feel comfortable. Take notes in your call log. ========================================== EMAILS and SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS 1. Use official parish accounts, or have permission from the pastor/supervisor for other accounts and amend your "Permission for Direct Contact with Youth" Form as needed. 2. Always have at least one other adult connected with each communication/monitoring the account. 3. Try not to over do it (believe me, I struggle with this when I see many things I would like to share. I try to save some items to share on subsequent days. On Facebook and a few other social media, you can schedule out posts in advance.) 4. Be sure to follow up on any comments and questions posted, if you allow them. 5. Feel free to share posts from the Vatican.va, Pontifex, the USCCB, the Diocese of Youngstown, our Catholic Charities and other diocesan offices as they support your efforts. 6. Remember, you are sharing the Gospel in all that you post! (Note: similar for Group Texting efforts!) ================================= VIRTUAL MEETINGS/GATHERINGS 1. Use official parish accounts, or have permission from the pastor/supervisor for other accounts and amend your "Permission for Direct Contact with Youth" Form as needed. Currently, the diocese does not limit what platform you can use, as we want you to work what works for you.... free options exist with FreeConferenceCall.com, Zoom, Google Meetings (Hangouts), and Facebook Live (to be done within a closed Group page, unless you just want to broadcast without interaction.... and paid options with Go To Meetings, Cisco WebEx, Flocknote, etc. (Feel free to include others you use in the comments below.) 2. Always have at least one other adult participating (and two or more for each small group if you use a program in which you will be breaking them into small groups). 3. Prepare an outline (with scripting as needed) for the gathering - opening and closing prayer, ground-rules, discussion, activity, etc. Preview any videos you plan to share. Even if it is just a casual hangout while teens discuss homework or topics they wish, make sure faith is infused. I mean, we need to recognize God as part of all our experiences, especially in ministry. 4. Practice with the platform you will be using before your actual session so that you can see how features work and what PRIVACY settings you may want to enable. 5. Make event By Invitation Only -- not posted on parish website or public forum, unless you can secure the site and approve each participant. (If you haven't yet heard, some unfortunate individuals have been Zoom-bombing wherein they disrupt sessions and occasionally post inappropriate things in an open chat, post inappropriate images in open-screen-sharing, etc. thus the need for security.) 6. Pray before you begin that the Holy Spirit will guide you and touch the hearts of the participants. 7. Have any screens (prayers, videos, resources, images, etc.) ready to share before you begin. 8. Begin... RECORD the session if possible... establish ground-rules (muting, respecting when other speak, etc.)... be reassuring and faith-filled... enjoy! 9. End on time - parents will appreciate it. You can always schedule another session if they want more time! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ May our God bless you in special ways as you explore new ways to minister to, for and with our Young Church!
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Much of the news about the Catholic Church for the past month has been discouraging, hurtful, disappointing, horrifying, and (insert a long list of other negative emotions).... it can become almost too much and we may be tempted to lose hope.... Those with whom we minister may also be losing hope. In many schools of psychology, it is taught that we must first admit our current feelings and work through them towards the end goal, or what it is that gives us hope. For the Church, we have the Eucharist, the Sacraments and Liturgy to remind us of the hope that is Jesus our Christ. We must work through these hard times, but keep our hearts fixed on our Triune God. One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock. (Psalm 27: 4 - 5) I am thankful for colleagues around Ohio and the United States that have been working on resources that we can use to help facilitate discussions with teens and our adult volunteers about the scandals. I am sharing a few with you - click on the buttons below to connect to the resources - and will be praying that you and those with whom you minister find them to be helpful. (If you happen upon others that you would recommend, please mention them in the COMMENTS to this post.) Discuss....Pray....Heal....Hope! "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13) English translation of August 20, 2018 Letter from Pope Francis: Letter of His Holiness Pope Francis to the People of God "If one member suffers, all suffer together with it" ( 1 Cor12:26). These words of Saint Paul forcefully echo in my heart as I acknowledge once more the suffering endured by many minors due to sexual abuse, the abuse of power and the abuse of conscience perpetrated by a significant number of clerics and consecrated persons. Crimes that inflict deep wounds of pain and powerlessness, primarily among the victims, but also in their family members and in the larger community of believers and nonbelievers alike. Looking back to the past, no effort to be pardon and to seek to repair the harm done will ever be sufficient. Looking ahead to the future, no effort must be spared to create a culture to prevent such situations from happening, but also to prevent the possibility of their being covered up and perpetuated. The pain of the victims and their families is also our pain, 1. If one member suffers ... In recent days, a report was made public which detailed the experiences of at least a thousand survivors, victims of sexual abuse, the abuse of power and of conscience at the hands of priests over a period of approximately seventy years. Even though it can be said that most of these cases belong to the past, nonetheless as it happens, we have come to know the pain of many of the victims. We have realized that these wounds never disappear and that they require us forcefully to condemn these atrocities and join forces in uprooting this culture of death; These wounds never go away. The heart-wrenching pain of these victims, which cries out to heaven, was long ignored, kept quiet or silenced. But their outcry was more powerful than all the measures meant to silence it, or sought even to solve it by decisions that increased its gravity by falling into complicity. The Lord heard that cry and once again showed us on which side I have stands. Mary's song is not mistaken and continues quietly to echo throughout history. For the Lord remembers the promise he made to our fathers: "I have scattered the proud in their conceit; I have cast down the mighty from their thrones and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty "(Lk 1: 51-53). We feel shame when we realize that our style of life has denied, and we continue to deny, the words we recite. With shame and repentance, we acknowledge as an ecclesial community that we were not where we should have been, that we did not act in a timely manner, realizing the magnitude and the gravity of the damage done to so many lives. We showed no care for the little ones; we abandoned them. I made my own the words of the then Cardinal Ratzinger when, during the Way of the Cross for Good Friday 2005, I identified with the cry of pain of so many victims and exclaimed: "How much filth there is in the Church, and Even among those who, in the priesthood, ought to belong entirely to [Christ]! How much pride, how much self-complacency! Christ's betrayal by his disciples, their unworthy reception of his body and blood, is certainly the greatest suffering endured by the Redeemer; it pierces his heart. Kyrie eleison - Lord, save us! ( Mt 8:25) "(Ninth Station). 2. ... all suffer together with it The extent and the gravity of all that has happened requires to come with this reality in a comprehensive and communal way. While it is important and necessary on every journey of conversion to acknowledge the truth of what has happened, in itself this is not enough. Today we are challenged as the People of God to take on the pain of our brothers and sisters wounded in their flesh and in their spirit. If, in the past, the response was one of omission, today we want solidarity, in the deepest and most challenging sense, to become our way of forging present and future history. And this in an environment where conflicts, tensions and all the victims of every type of abuse can encounter an outstretched hand to protect them and rescue them from their pain (cf.Evangelii Gaudium , 228). Such solidarity demands that we in turn condemn whatever endangers the integrity of any person. A solidarity that summons us to fight all forms of corruption, especially spiritual corruption. The latter is a comfortable and self-satisfied form of blindness. Everything then appears acceptable: deception, slander, egotism and other subtle forms of self-centeredness, for 'even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light' ( 2 Cor 11:14) "( Gaudete et Exsultate , 165). Saint Paul's exhortation to suffer with those who suffer is the best antidote against all of our attempts to repeat the words of Cain: "Am I my brother's keeper?" ( Gen 4: 9). I am conscious of the effort and work being carried out in various parts of the world to come up with the necessary means to ensure the safety and protection of the integrity of children and of vulnerable adults, as well as implementing zero tolerance and ways of making all those who perpetrate or cover up these accountable. We have delayed in applying these actions and sanctions that are necessary, yet I am confident that they will help to guarantee a greater culture of care in the present and future. Together with those efforts, every one of the baptized should feel involved in the ecclesial and social change that we so greatly need. This change calls for a personal and communal conversion that makes us see things as the Lord does. For as Saint John Paul II liked to say: "If we have truly started out from the contemplation of Christ, we must learn to see it especially in the faces of those with whom I have wished to be identified" ( Novo Millennio Ineunte , 49 ). To see things as the Lord does, to be where the Lord wants us to be, to experience a conversion of heart in his presence. To do so, prayer and penance will help. I invite the entire faithful faithful People of God to a penitential exercise of prayer and fasting , following the Lord's command. 1 This can awaken our conscience and arouse our solidarity and commitment to a culture of care that says "never again" to every form of abuse. It is impossible to think of a conversion of our activity as a Church that does not include the active participation of all the members of God's People. Indeed, whenever we have tried to replace, or silence, or reduce the People of God to small elites, we end up creating communities, projects, theological approaches, spiritualities and structures without roots, without memory, without faces, without bodies and ultimately, without lives. 2This is clearly seen in a peculiar way of understanding the Church's authority, one common in many communities where sexual abuse and the abuse of power and consciousness have occurred. Such is the case with clericalism, an approach that "not only nullifies the character of Christians, but also tends to diminish and undervalue the baptismal grace that the Holy Spirit has placed in the heart of our people". 3 Clericalism, if fostered by priests themselves or by persons, leads to an excision in the ecclesial body that supports and helps to perpetuate many of the evils that we are condemning today. To say "no" to abuse is to say an emphatic "no" to all forms of clericalism. It is always helpful to remember that "in salvation history, the Lord saved one people. We are never completely ourselves unless we belong to a people. That is why no one is saved alone, as an isolated individual. Rather, God draws us to himself, taking into account the complex fabric of interpersonal relationships present in the human community. God wanted to enter into the life and history of a people "( Gaudete et Exsultate, 6). Consequently, the only way that we have to respond to this evil is that you have given many lives to experience it as a task regarding all of us as the People of God. This awareness of being part of a people and a shared history will enable us to acknowledge our past sins and mistakes with a penitential openness that can allow us to be renewed from within. Without the active participation of all the Church's members, everything being done to uproot the culture of abuse in our communities will not be successful in generating the necessary dynamics for sound and realistic change. The penitential dimension of fasting and prayer will help us as God's People to come before the Lord and our wounded brothers and sisters as sinners imploring forgiveness and the grace of shame and conversion. In this way, we will come up with actions that can generate resources attuned to the Gospel. For "whenever we make the effort to return to the source and to recover the original freshness of the gospel, new avenues arise, new paths of creativity open up, with different forms of expression, more eloquent signs and words with new meaning for today's world "(Evangelii Gaudium , 11). It is essential that we, as a Church, be able to acknowledge and condemn, with sorrow and shame, the atrocities perpetrated by consecrated persons, clerics, and all those entrusted with the mission of watching over and caring for those most vulnerable. Let us be forgiveness for our own sins and the sins of others. An awareness of without help us to acknowledge the errors, the crimes and the wounds caused in the past and the us, in the present, to be more open and committed along a journey of renewed conversion. Likewise, penance and prayer will help us to open our eyes and our hearts to other people's sufferings and overcome the thirst for power and possessions that are so often the root of those evils. May fasting and prayer open our ears to the hushed pain felt by children, young people and the disabled. A fasting that can make us hunger and thirst for justice and impel us to walk in the truth, supporting all the judicial measures that may be necessary. A fasting that shakes us up and leads us to be committed in truth and charity with all men and women of good will, and with society in general, to combatting all forms of the abuse of power, sexual abuse and the abuse of conscience. In this way, we can show clearly our calling to be "a sign and instrument of communion with God and of the unity of the entire human race" ( Lumen Gentium , 1). "If one member suffers, all suffer together with it," said Saint Paul. By an attitude of prayer and penance, we will become attuned as individuals and as a community to this exhortation, so that we may grow in the gift of compassion, in justice, prevention and reparation. Mary chose to stand at the foot of her Son's cross. She did so unhesitatingly, standing firmly by Jesus' side. In this way, she reveals the way she lived her entire life. When we experience the desolation caused by these ecclesial wounds, we will do well, with Mary, "to insist more upon prayer," seeking to grow all the more in love and fidelity to the Church (SAINT IGNATIUS OF LOYOLA, Spiritual Exercises, 319). She, the first of the disciples, teaches all of us as disciples how we are to halt before the sufferings of the innocent, without excuses or cowardice. To look to Mary is to discover the model of a true follower of Christ. May the Holy Spirit grant us the grace of conversion and the interior anointing needed to express before these crimes of abuse our compunction and our resolve courageously to combat them. Vatican City, 20 August 2018 FRANCIS ______________ 1 "But this kind [of demon] does not come out except by prayer and fasting" ( Mt 17:21). 2 Cf. Letter to the Pilgrim People of God in Chile (May 31, 2018). 3 Letter to Cardinal Marc Ouellet, President of the Pontifical Commission for Latin America (19 March 2016). [01246-EN.01] [Original text: Spanish] See original at: http://press.vatican.va/content/salastampa/it/bollettino/pubblico/2018/08/20/0578/01246.html#ingl At the Convocation of Catholic Leaders (July 1-4, 2017 in Orlando), I was honored to be one of the five delegates from the Diocese of Youngstown. The event included break- out sessions, one being "Youth on the Margins: Understanding Those Struggling with Depression, Suicide, Gangs and Discrimination." Obviously, the panel of speakers addressed each of those areas. They also discussed the opioid epidemic and how some of the heroin sold these days is immediately addicting. There is also an increase in reported anxiety issues with teens. It can be difficult to share the Joy of the Gospel (theme of the Convocation) when people are struggling to find joy in any area of their life! In an interview with Antonio Spadaro SJ in August 2013, Pope Francis said: “The thing the church needs most today is the ability to heal wounds and to warm the hearts of the faithful; it needs nearness, proximity. I see the church as a field hospital after battle. It is useless to ask a seriously injured person if he has high cholesterol and about the level of his blood sugars! You have to heal his wounds. Then we can talk about everything else. Heal the wounds, heal the wounds." As adults called to work with and for young people, we need to be available to assist as needed. In addition to just being available to LISTEN to a young person, here are a few suggestions: 1. Continue to pray for young people and their families, knowing that everyone is going through something or has a loved one that they worry about that is going through something. Pray that they have the strength they need to get through it and to rely on God. A few Scriptures to consider in your prayer: • “The Lord heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). • “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, thus declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 30:17). • “Come to me, all who are heavy burdened...” (Matthew 11:28) • “The news about [Jesus] spread throughout all Syria; and they brought to him all who were ill, those suffering with various diseases and pains, demoniacs, epileptics, paralytics; and he healed them” (Matthew 4:24). 2. Have a "Referral List" handy and updated. To read more about how to create your list, see: youngstownoyyam.weebly.com/youth-and-young-adult-ministry-idea-sharing-blog/counseling-referrals-pastoral-care as well as an idea for helping parents connect for support: youngstownoyyam.weebly.com/youth-and-young-adult-ministry-idea-sharing-blog/been-there-done-that-box 3. Learn more about Pastoral Care so that you can better be of service. Once great option is called "Youth Mental Health First Aid." This is a quick course that covers the basics on identifying and working with youth who may experience anxiety, depression, substance use, disorders, suicidal tendencies, etc. It comes with a manual that you can keep on hand for reference over and over again. (Perhaps a good idea to reread a chapter each month as well as to have on hand as a certain situation arises.) The diocese is looking into the possibility of hosting a training for parish ministers, but I also found that there is a FREE option offered by the Trumbull County Mental Health and Recovery Board. One training day is coming up on August 25th in Warren. The flyer can be found below. If you are unavailable that day, perhaps contact them for future dates. What else might you add to this list? Final thought, Pope Francis encourages us in taking the time necessary to journey with people as Church, "An evangelizing community is also supportive, standing by people at every step of the way, no matter how difficult or lengthy this may prove to be." (Evaneglii Gaudium #24) ~~~~~~ "Proclaiming Christ means showing that to believe in and to follow him is not only something right and true, but also something beautiful, capable of filling life with new splendor and profound joy, even in the midst of difficulties." (Evaneglii Gaudium #167) resource by Kirk Bloir, Program Director, Family and Consumer Sciences posted at: http://ohioline.osu.edu/factsheet/HYG-5321 ------- Whether for a few minutes or a few hours, all parents will face this dilemma: Is my child old enough to stay home alone? If you look to Ohio's state or local laws, you won't find a minimum age specified. Instead, the Ohio Revised Code says that parents are responsible for providing adequate and proper supervision and care for their children. So, the real question isn't so much one of age, but one of your child's maturity, readiness, and your ability to plan for safety, emergencies, and activities. Parents need to look at their child's maturity and readiness in three broad areas. Physical Can your child lock and unlock the doors and windows; use the telephone; and operate appliances safely (such as a can opener, microwave, toaster oven, stove top)? Intellectual Your child must be able to read and take a written message; follow and give directions; and understand and describe house rules and safety/emergency procedures. Social/Emotional Your child needs to feel good about being left home alone; feel confident In his/her ability to take care of him/herself; and be comfortable with limited social interaction. Take cues from your child. If he/she says he/she is afraid, lonely, or unsure of his/her ability to stay home alone, he/she is not ready. Once you believe your child is ready, create a plan. Begin by talking with your child about the possibility of staying home alone. Ask if he/she would like to stay home alone. If not, don't force the issue. If yes, then do the following.
There is no magic age at which children can stay home alone. What matters most is (1) whether they are mature enough, (2) they know how to respond in emergency situations, and (3) they are willing to follow directions and rules. If your children are not comfortably self-sufficient in your absence, they are not ready to stay home alone. References
While the component of Pastoral Care in ministries with youth is about helping to support healthy growth and development for the teen, often within a family setting, there can be times that we encounter youth with concerning situations. As trusting relationships build in ministry, we may find that people really open their hearts to us and share struggles that they are having personally or with a loved one. We might be told of substance abuse, addiction, unplanned pregnancy, depression, suicidal thoughts, physical abuse, neglect, violent behavior, excessive stress, bullying, rape, feelings of helplessness, serious parental conflict, and more. As caring people, we want to help....yet, when working with youth and families, it is important to recognize when you need to refer one for counseling. When you are in that situation, where do you call? Catholic Charities recently updated their list, so I am happy to share this with you to give you leads. I recommend that you give each place in your county a call and see how open they are (and welcoming they sound) for your referral needs. {See document below.} Also, be sure to see what resources you have in your own parish and a neighboring parish. Often psychologists, psychiatrists and counsels are members of our Churches. WHEN TO REFER David Switzer states that it is wise to refer when: 1. We simply don't understand what's going on with the other person, why the person feels and behaves as she/he does, even after we've had opportunity to talk with that persona bout what's going on. 2. We recognize that the person is psychotic or has a tenacious depression. 3. The person is suicidal or is making serious threats against someone else. 4. We suspect that the person may have some physical disorder, may need a physical examination, and/or may need medication. 5. A person is dependent on alcohol or some other chemical substance, including prescription drugs. 6. It had seemed as if this were a person appropriate to with with, but after a while we realize that no change is taking place, we're beginning to feel frustrated and we don't know what else to do. 7. We find ourselves beginning to shut the person out emotionally. 8. We feel consciously afraid because the person appears to be dangerous to us. 9. We feel angry at the person and aren't clear about the reason. 10. We want to take care of everything for the person and are not really helping the person to be responsible for him/herself. 11. We want to guard our relationship with the person and not let anyone else participate in significant helping with him/her. 12. The situation is primarily a family problem and the family pattern of interaction is complex. (Taken from Guides to Youth Ministry: Pastoral Care, edited by Sharon Reed) Thank you for all you do to help achieve Goal 3 of our framework for Catholic Youth Ministry:
(For more on this goal and the framework, visit this web page: http://www.usccb.org/about/laity-marriage-family-life-and-youth/young-adults/renewing-the-vision.cfm ) I was asked again recently, "What do I have to do for diocesan Child Protection certification or whatever it is called?" So, I thought I'd post here what I shared (so you can share it with others who ask you!) Our DCPP (Diocesan Child Protection Policy) compliance begins with a 4 step process to be done through one's parish/Catholic institution. 1. Read the Diocesan Child Protection Policy booklet (these are free and available through your parish/institution coordinator) 2. Sign and submit the booklet Authorization and Verification form to your parish/institution coordinator 3. Participate in a two-hour "Treasured Gifts from God" in-service (dates and location are often listed in the monthly "Communique'" email (http://www.doy.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=128&Itemid=100 ) 4. Have your fingerprints done via webcheck at any Ohio location having the report sent to your parish/institution. (If you are new to Ohio, an FBI check will need to be done.) After these 4 steps, and a "clean" fingerprinting report is received by the parish/institution, the DCPP administrator submits a checklist to the Office of the Chancellor. Once the individual is entered into the diocesan data-base, that adult is found to be in compliance and can chaperon/drive/volunteer with/serve youth. Furthermore, for those serving in youth ministries, your parish/institution coordinator should be providing ongoing education in this area, perhaps more on recognizing signs of abuse, or how to create a safe environment, etc. So long as you stay in continuous service at the same institution, there is currently no need for re-fingerprinting. However, should you change locations or go inactive more than one year, then you are required to start the process over again. Our diocesan Chancellor is always available to assist as needed, just contact the diocese at 330-744-8451. One of the biggest questions that seems to follow a "Treasured Gifts from God" or other Child Protection Policy related session is in regards to "Well, then what CAN we do besides seal ourselves off from kids?" While we adults working with youth MUST be cautious and sincere about providing safe environments for the kids, we can still be pastoral and caring....we just have to think! We also need to help teens understand 'appropriate touch' as well for use not only with adults, but their peers and when they assist with smaller children. Here is a basic list that we use for guidelines for diocesan youth events: + behaviors are generally* considered appropriate at youth events and activities:
- behaviors are generally considered inappropriate at youth events and activities:
* These are generalizations as each individual varies in comfort in regards to 'personal space' and we must do our best to read the signs/behaviors s/he displays. Remember, the point of our restrictions is to help provide safe environments for youth. But the point of our ministry is to help pass on the faith and help youth know, love and serve our Triune God. That means there are times and reasons were appropriate touch are necessary! God realized that people need to engage our human senses, and this he sent Jesus as a real person -- one who we've heard touched people: Matthew 8:1-4/ Mark 1:40-42, Luke 5:12-13 --The leper Matthew 9:20-22 -- The hemmoraging woman Matthew 20:29-34 -- The blind man Luke 22:50-51 -- The high priest's servant Matthew 9:23-26 -- The young dead girl just to name a few. So, touch can be healing, comforting, and loving. In our ministry settings, it should never forceful, scary, or intimidating. Be the gentle hand of God...appropriately! |
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*** Note: The Office Blog is now inactive, but posted for continued reference as needed (6/30/21) ***Cindee Case, MPSFormer Director of the Diocese of Youngstown Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry (2/2002 - 6/2021) Archives
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